After 100 talks, speaking well mattered less than connecting well.
By Kahit Kabado® Team | Photo by James Matias
I used to be a perfectionist and overthink everything I had to say. I thought being a good speaker meant preparing for every possible scenario. But after more than 100 talks, I learned that no matter how much you rehearse, you still cannot control everything that happens in the room. What matters more is how you respond, adapt, and stay connected to your message.
1. Experience is still the best teacher.
There are things no book, script, or training can fully teach you until you experience them yourself. I’ve gone through technical difficulties in the middle of a talk. I’ve spoken while food was being served, which made it harder for people to stay focused. I’ve had situations where the seats were arranged several rows away from me, making the room feel distant and harder to connect with. These moments taught me that speaking is not just about delivering prepared content. It is also about reading the room, adjusting your energy, and finding ways to bring people back when their attention shifts. Audience engagement is something you learn best by doing it over and over again in real time.
2. Learn from the best practices of other speakers.
I attended SpeakersCon, an event that brings together some of the country’s most respected speakers and thought leaders. I had the opportunity to watch speakers like Inka Magnaye and Francis Kong, people I really look up to.
While watching, I paid attention to the details. I noticed how Inka uses vocal variety to keep her audience engaged and how Francis Kong reconnects with his audience when he feels their attention starting to drift. These are things you do not always notice as an audience member, but as a speaker, they matter a lot.
One of the fastest ways I improved was by observing how other speakers hold a room. I started noticing how they open their talks, how they transition between ideas, how they use pauses, and how they handle shifts in audience energy. Good speakers are not just confident. They are intentional. They know how to guide attention and make people feel included in the experience. Watching others helped me understand that speaking is not only about what you say. It is also about rhythm, presence, and how clearly your message lands.
3. Do not be afraid to experiment until you find your real voice.
When I first started doing university talks, I remember changing my tone because I wanted to sound more professional. I thought I had to sound more formal to be taken seriously. But the more I tried to perform a version of myself that did not feel natural, the less connected I felt to my own message.
Over time, I realized that people respond more when your voice feels real. Professional does not always mean formal. Sometimes, it simply means clear, grounded, and intentional. The more I experimented, the more I understood that my natural voice was one of my strengths. Speaking got better when I stopped trying to sound like someone else.
After 100 talks, I’ve learned that what matters most when you speak is not perfection. It is connection. You cannot control every distraction, every room setup, or every unexpected moment. But you can learn how to stay present, adapt, and speak in a way that still feels true to you.
Because in the end, people may not remember every word you said, but they will remember how connected they felt while you were saying it.